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05 / 30

Differences that change a conversation

This doesn’t work. Do it again.

Directness as respect and softening as respect

Jonas values plain language. Maja shows respect by softening criticism.

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Jonas points out a problem in Maja’s work and asks her to redo it.
Maja, this doesn’t work. Do it again.
Maja hears direct feedback as dislike, while Jonas sees it as honesty.
He can’t stand me.
Good that we can speak plainly. It saves her time.
Maja gives Jonas very softened feedback on his work.
Jonas, this is a strong direction. There is a lot that works here. Maybe just consider changing the headline…
Jonas is unsure whether Maja’s suggestion requires action.
Was that a request to change it or only a suggestion?
Maja and Jonas leave with different understandings of the same conversation.
I told Jonas very clearly.
Why won’t she say plainly what she wants?
Em, the Empatyzer coach
Jonas is direct because clear criticism saves time and shows respect. Maja softens her words because, to her, respect means improving the work without hurting the person. Neither means harm. Before feedback, agree on the mode—gentle or unfiltered—and name exactly what needs to change.